Stupid Shoes and Sleepy Eyes

Man oh man I am fighting it today. I can't seem to keep my eyes open! The more I try not to be sleepy, the more sleepy I feel. Bad joojoo.

Work is going well. I'm task oriented right now. I got my boss to number the projects I'm working on in order of importance. Now I can figure out what to work on next. Tabloid. I have to put together a tabloid for the school. It's about 32-35 pages long. It will have ads (from what I've been told) and will need to be set up for print. Goody goody. I'm so not excited about this. I know it will be fun to put together. It is the gathering of information that gets to me. Oh well.

Scott is coming home in about three weeks!! I finally got to talk to him. I had already decided he had found a desert queen and stopped loving me. Crazy thoughts. It turns out that a tower was knocked down or out or something. Communication had been cut off. So yeah. Three weeks. I can't wait to see him.

I think I'm probably going to go from cold feet to warm whatever every week or so. I'm fine right now. I'm not freaking out about getting married. I'm not worried about the fact that we've never lived in the same state. I'm not freaking over the fact that I haven't seen him in 6 months and won't see him (except for the two weeks he will visit) until the wedding. I'm fine. Last week I wasn't so fine. I was freaking. I'm good now. I just don't want to freak Scott out. I love him so much. I don't want to worry him.

So what's next? I'm working on the same things I've been working on for the past 6 months. Still haven't gotten anything done for the wedding. I realized the other day that Scott and I have to get our picture taken. We don't have an engagement picture at all. Nothing. So when he does come to visit, I need to have an appointment scheduled already for our engagement shots. Scarey stuff. We've got to get the guys suits while he is here too. Wow, lots to do.

Is anybody out there?

Amost Two Weeks

I keep telling people it's been almost a week, but I thought about it today and it has been longer than that since I've talked to or heard from Scott. I lose track of time easily lately.

I don't know where he is, what he's doing......nothing. I haven't heard his voice since Mother's day. He tried to call me and I missed the call because I was in another room and couldn't hear my phone ring. I thought I would bust in to tears then.

I really am trying not to be super emotional. I want to keep a good attitude. It's hard though. How am I supposed to know that he is ok? I keep telling myself that he is just really busy and can't get to a computer or phone. I keep thinking that nothing is wrong and nothing has happened. It isn't really that I think he may be hurt or anything. I'm just worried about other things. He's alone there. Yeah there are plenty of people around, but how many people of faith? What scares me is what may come against him right now. I know it has been difficult for me. I just pray for him every time I think about him. I ask God to protect him, encourage him and let him know I love him.

I have so many fears about the future. It is crazy. I shouldn't worry about the future. The Bible tells me so. I guess it is just easy to let doubt whisper to you and hard to not hear the whisper in your ear.

Please pray for us.

I'm Going to be in a Play!

Nervousness. I auditioned for a musical Tuesday night. I just wanted to see if I could do it, because the last time I even tried to "act" was when I was 12. Fourteen years later, I thought it was time to take another stab at it. I shouldn't have been so shy about it. Still not out of that weirdness that I get sometimes where I don't want to speak up. I talk myself out of too many things. The audition was fun. I could've done more, but with me having the crud and not having much experience behind my belt, I fell into the background. Still, I was cast as a chorus girl and a smaller role (I think Suzanne) in Kiss Me Kate. I'm excited about it. It'll be a nice thing to do with some of my friends. Still, I won't have any free time, but maybe I'll feel better about how I spend my time. I'm going to miss hanging out with my dad on Tuesdays though. I love him.

Speaking of which, I had to delay our "date" night because of the ladie's banquet. Now I'm going to have to postpone again because of rehearsel. I hope my dad isn't upset. I think I'll visit him tonight. I miss hearing him boss me around. hehe

Last night I stayed up until 1 working on a Congratulations banner for two people I go to church with. It was fun. That's what it looks like. I haven't just sat down and drawn anything in a while. I talked on the phone with Eli while I worked. I caught up on his life. Strange talking to him after everything. I'm afraid I still may have a tinge of bitterness in me. I've really prayed about it. I don't want to be mean to him. It's just hard to be nice to him sometimes when I remember everything that happened between us. I make mean little comments that I could just keep inside and not express. He just leaves the door wide open and I walk through it. It's like the movie You've Got Mail. I zing him and then I feel the overwhelming remorse for what I've done. I'm getting better about it though. Unlike the movie, we won't end up together. Far from what I would want anyway. I just want to learn to be a real friend to him again.

I miss Scott. I try not to think about it. Ever since he changed camps, I never get to hear from him. When I do get to talk to him it seems like such a short conversation. I miss his hugs, smell, touch.....man I miss him. I can't even remember what it feels like to hug him. I can't wait until he comes home. I think we have about a month and half left. It's just not going quickly enough. I don't know if I'm going to be very good at being a military wife. I'm going to try my best. Boy this isn't fun though.

Roof Top Teaching

As promised.....here is Bro. Lambert preaching his sermon from the roof of our church. He's so silly. I think it's great that he is willing to try anything to get people to come to church. This was a dare. He said he would preach on top of the church if they had 75 people, I think. Crazy stuff.

I'm just glad he didn't get too excited and fall off!

Sorry the pictures are kinda fuzzy.

Pentecostal Jumping Bean/Jumping Preacher

The preacher Biggie (Amanda) was referencing to in her comment on my last post was a preacher she had seen preaching revival at my home church one year while we were attending Northeast Community College. I had taken a group of people to a revival service with me, just so they could see what my church was like. People have so many, I'm not sure how to put it......they just make up in their mind how a pentecostal church will be because of what they may have heard. I always like for them to see if for themselves and make their own judgements based on their experience. I love visiting other churches so it is nothing to me to bring someone to visit mine. It's fun. I'll admit I'm not the most "by the book" Pentecostal, but I was born and raised that way.

The time that I did take Amanda and a few other friends to church with me was so much fun! Bro. Lambert, the jumping preacher, was in the middle of his sermon when the first thing he did that may seem unsual to some people was take off his shoes. Now I've seen this many times before. I mean, it isn't common or anything, but a preacher will do anything to get his point across. I think the thing that really did it for Amanda and everyone else was when he jumped up on the altar while he was preaching. I laughed inside because I knew they were probably thinking all kinds of things. I think Bro. Lambert puts it best when he says, "I'm feeling my Holy Ghost wheaties."

He's now the pastor of our church in Iuka. I love that church. There is a move of God there that is amazing. The pastor and his wife both have a heart for God that you would not believe. Plus, they are just silly. If we get 100 people at church, the pastor, the youth leader, and a couple more guys at our church are going to shave their heads. I'm rooting for 100!! I know it can happen. I'll be so funny!

Well, I was going to try to post a picture of Bro. Lambert on here, but the computer is giving me heck. I'll try again later. It's fun.