Blogging

I guess I should tell you that recently I've started using xanga.com and myspace.com a lot more. I used to support blogspot.com completely. Lately I've just drifted away. So if you are wondering where I am, there I am!

Ok!

Older painting I enjoy

Here's an older painting that I had done. I love this one. It makes me feel happy. I think its original size is 28x30 or somewhere around there. It's been a while.

Clear

Even though it was a clear day, Apple decided to take the bus to get to her classes.

I'm afraid I probably could have done something a bit better, but I was pressed for time. I'm going to try and put forth more effort for the next one! I think I was a bit optimistic while I was sketching this one out too. hehe

Smoke

This is a painting I had done (acrylic) in a series of circus paintings called "Amiable Animals". Each had their habits: a drunk tiger, a smoking bear and a gambling elephant. If I can find the others, I'll try to post them as well.

Found them! They look really nice when they are hung together.

Wind

I did this woodcut print in college a few years ago. It consisted of three seperate blocks. We were supposed to use the blocks to create two different compositions. I really enjoy woodcut.

Long Time, Sorry

Ok, so I've decided to use this for Illustrationfriday.com. I would like to participate and since I don't know enough about xanga to use it for these purposes, I'm going to do this. Hope it works.

Probably time for a Post

I've been putting this off because I actually wanted to have something to tell about. Not much going on right now. I've been trying to get the apartment in order, and I'm job hunting (which I hate).

I've noticed that my sinus problems are almost obsolete here, which is a lovely thing.

Colorado is gorgeous (surprise, surprise).

This is the view from our patio. Lovely.

Scott is at work from about 6 until 5 so I have to entertain myself throughout the day. I feel bad because I want to have a job so I can contribute to the funds. I also want to be without employment because there are so many more things you can do during the day. I'm getting the "itch" though. I need to have a routine. I guess it is just because I'm used to having one. I would like to at least find a part time job so I can make a little money and get out of the house more. I want to drive around and discover stuff, but I know if I do that I won't have much gas. My funds are getting kinda small. Scott has offered to help, but I just don't want him to have to do that.

We have a dining room table!

Ok, so I know that isn't great big news, but for us it's fabulous! We bought it a couple of days ago. I'm so excited about it. Now we can actually eat dinner at the table and play games and such. Fun stuff. We are steps away from having the apartment in order so that we can invite people over.

Germany.......Scott got his orders for Germany. We have to be there, I think, no later than April. Exciting!! I'm nervous. Very nervous. I can't wait though. There is so much that has to be done before then.

We are trying to get a date nailed down for the wedding. All of this seems so out of order. I guess that's the way I've always been though. Anyway, I keep saying, "Let's get married as soon as possible!" The only thing is "as soon as possible" isn't as soon as I hoped. It's looking like the soonest we could have our ceremony would be November (and incredibly close to Thanksgiving which is not my preference). Scott has been throwing around January. I dunno. Too much to think about, and still it must be done.

So that's about it on this end. I miss everyone terrible. Haven't made any friends here yet. I'm working on it. Give me time. I need to get out more.

Until later!

Here we go....................Again

Ok folks...We are changing the wedding date. No news yet on when it will be but I should know something by the end of this week. Hopefully.

Plans are underway. My last day of work (as of today) is August 23rd. My last day in Mississippi should be August 31st. Lots of things to do and not enough time to do any of them! It's ok though.

The Air Force was the determining factor for our wedding date move. Scott is just too important (apparently) to let leave during October. That's ok though. We'll roll with it. What else can we do? Right?

God bless you all. I'll try to keep you posted!

81 Days and Counting...

Yeah, 81 days and then we'll tie the knot!! I can't wait. It's crunch time for me at work, for the wedding and for getting to spend time with my friends. I'm actually moving in a month! It's just crazy!!

This week at work I'm trying to get the handbooks taken care of so that I can send them to the printer. I'm afraid I may have really screwed up and waited to late about getting them out to the printer. School starts the second week of August. I've really gotta boogie!!

God has been taking care of some wedding details, and I'm so thankful!! You guys can't begin to imagine how completely stressed I've been about getting everything done. I know that I'm running out of time. I gave it over to God two days ago though. I finally decided that it wasn't worth it for me to be freaking out when this is supposed to be a wonderful time for me and my hubby to be. I told Him that if He wanted to take care of everything, it would be fine with me. Sure enough, He began working the web of His sweet love. I found tents and tables and chairs for a much cheaper price than I had originally found. Thank you God! I wasn't even looking for them. They just kinda fell in my lap. A lady at church volunteered to do my food. Awesome! It may not be as fancy-shmancy as it would have been, but uh, so what? I don't care. I'm just thankful for her willingness to help.

Last night my heart was broken at church. I've been in church all my life (with periods on and off) and can remember so sweetly how my roots began. I can look back and remember the elders of the church that instilled so many things in me. I can remember my parents crying out to God and praising Him. Man. Last night while I was singing with the praise team, a newer member started a song up and as soon as she got to the chorus I was bawling like a baby.

"I see the bright light shine. It's just about home time. I can see my Father standing at the door. This world has been a wilderness and I'm ready for deliverance. Lord I've never been this homesick before.".

I can remember as a child sitting at the end of the pew listening to my parents sing this song and seeing the look they had on their faces. It was pure and holy. It was a look of thankfulness and praise. I would listen to them and trace the design on the side of the pew with my finger in continuous circles.

I miss them being in church. I know they are going to be there again some day. I believe it with all of my heart. I just wish it would be sooner than later.

Love you guys. God bless and have a blessed day.

SO.......

Guess who's home!!??!!

Yep Yep. My boy is home! I'll be seeing him either tonight or tomorrow. You cannot imagine......well..............you just can't imagine! I can't wait to see him and wrap my arms around him.

Nice.

What a Pain in the Back!

Literally. My back is killing me! (I suddenly had a picture of Max Marsh shouting out to his dad, "It's killin me!") I don't know what I did to aggrivate it, but I wish I had not made it mad. I'm wobbling around work like an old granny. I can barely get myself out of bed and getting in my truck hurts like heck.

I thought it was a lot better this morning until I tried to get in my truck. Painful. I am making myself stay at work. I was two hours late Tuesday, because it hurt to try and get out of bed. It took me that long to get out of bed and get dressed. I called an apologized. That's all I could do. Ouchie.

This chair at work isn't helping. I think if anything it is contributing to the pain. I can't get comfortable.

NOW....on a positive note:

I was thinking about Job while I was taking a shower this morning. I could feel the pain in my back and my chest was tight too. (I'm falling apart!!) I was reminded of how God kept His hand on Job even though many things happened to him and to his life. He was challenged in many ways, but the important thing was that Job kept praising God. He didn't complain all the time and he kept the faith that God was going to pull him through it. So, I started singing praise songs and thanking God for helping me out of bed, giving me another day and allowing me to have a job to go to and work. I thanked Him for what he has done in my life and what He is going to do.

I felt better.

I've just got to focus on the importance of God's love and blessings. I'm trying not to think too much about the pain. I'm trying to remember that there are good times and bad times. All times God is with me and is taking care of me. I could be a lot worse. God has brought me this far. So, I'm thankful.

Yet another note:

I think it was either last Sunday or Wednesday at church, our pastor spoke about how God keeps a hedge of protection around us. He said that even right now the devil could be in heaven talking to God saying, "What about this saint? Are they truly faithful?" God is saying, "Have you considered ______?" It is that hedge that keeps us safe. We have to keep the faith.

Good timing on that sermon!

Finally Some Progress!

Well, good news...I finally got to talk to a florist that I connected with. This lady was super nice, completely honest (as far as I know) and enthused about the way I like things. That made me feel so nice. For the first time in a while, I actually got excited about getting all of this stuff together. I've really felt bogged down lately, and Friday was so refreshing. I think it's going to work out nicely.

Next thing on my list to conquer.....food.

Options:

1. Buy food from Sam's and get someone to put it together nicely.
2. Get the ladies of the church to cook and put it together.
3. Get our families to cook their favorites.
4. Get a caterer.

Are there other options I'm unaware of?

Here's the way I look at it. I love good food. Scott does too. I want people to enjoy themselves and get some good eats too. It doesn't have to be super elaborate or anything, but I would love, love, love to have a nice setup-up with some fabulous foods. (I really want some chocolate covered strawberries somewhere on one of those tables!)

Any suggestions? How about you married folks out there? What did you do for food at your wedding? How did you handle it?

My family is great, but as far as food goes, I really don't see them cooking up some stuff for my reception. So really, option #3 is focused more on Scott's side of the family than mine.

Know any photographers? We are on a budget, and I don't know how much we've budgeted for the photographer. I do know that they do not come cheap. Man, I really would like to have some gorgeous pictures. Here is my main problem. I know I would much rather have photo journalistic type pictures than traditional "line up and smile" pictures. I like the life pictures have when they are unexpected or natural. Also, because I love photography, I know what looks good and what doesn't. It's hard for me to believe that I could get a non-professional friend to take the pictures and get the ones I want. I'm scared to do it. I know that aside from the memories, pictures are really the only thing you have left after the wedding. Plus, my reception is going to be at night (yet another task to overcome for amateur photographers). Lighting is everything. What should I do? I'm trying not to be picky about this (really I can't afford to), but it's hard not to want this part to be right.

I thought about asking all of you who are fabulous amateur photographers to bring your cameras and some film and snap away. Then I would develop the film and pick the ones I want the most. Then I worried that no one would be able to get good reception pictures. I'm not so concerned about the ceremony part, because the church is gorgeous and with a regular camera you can get fabulous pictures without even trying. I've already snapped a few and they came out great. The lighting is natural and beautiful.

Enough of that....

I talked to Scott the other day. I'm keeping a countdown in my head. My numbers say that he'll be home in about 6 days. That is, he'll be in the United States, not Mississippi. Still though, if this is correct that means that in 6 days when I miss his call, I can call him back!!! I'm so excited about that. I hate missing his calls. It makes me want to cry every time. We have impeccable timing too. Every time I walk away from my phone for two seconds (because I really do have it attached to my body at all times for him) he decides to call me. I mean EVERY TIME! I missed two calls yesterday because I left my phone in my car while I ate at Sonic at the picnic tables. I was letting it charge. I missed three calls one day because I forgot to take it off silent mode after church. Three calls!!! It was right beside me! GRRRR....aggravation. I can't wait to get to talk to him and not hear a piercing sound in my ear, hear myself, or get the "you've been talking for thirty minutes now and we are going to cut you off" beep.

Stupid Shoes and Sleepy Eyes

Man oh man I am fighting it today. I can't seem to keep my eyes open! The more I try not to be sleepy, the more sleepy I feel. Bad joojoo.

Work is going well. I'm task oriented right now. I got my boss to number the projects I'm working on in order of importance. Now I can figure out what to work on next. Tabloid. I have to put together a tabloid for the school. It's about 32-35 pages long. It will have ads (from what I've been told) and will need to be set up for print. Goody goody. I'm so not excited about this. I know it will be fun to put together. It is the gathering of information that gets to me. Oh well.

Scott is coming home in about three weeks!! I finally got to talk to him. I had already decided he had found a desert queen and stopped loving me. Crazy thoughts. It turns out that a tower was knocked down or out or something. Communication had been cut off. So yeah. Three weeks. I can't wait to see him.

I think I'm probably going to go from cold feet to warm whatever every week or so. I'm fine right now. I'm not freaking out about getting married. I'm not worried about the fact that we've never lived in the same state. I'm not freaking over the fact that I haven't seen him in 6 months and won't see him (except for the two weeks he will visit) until the wedding. I'm fine. Last week I wasn't so fine. I was freaking. I'm good now. I just don't want to freak Scott out. I love him so much. I don't want to worry him.

So what's next? I'm working on the same things I've been working on for the past 6 months. Still haven't gotten anything done for the wedding. I realized the other day that Scott and I have to get our picture taken. We don't have an engagement picture at all. Nothing. So when he does come to visit, I need to have an appointment scheduled already for our engagement shots. Scarey stuff. We've got to get the guys suits while he is here too. Wow, lots to do.

Is anybody out there?

Amost Two Weeks

I keep telling people it's been almost a week, but I thought about it today and it has been longer than that since I've talked to or heard from Scott. I lose track of time easily lately.

I don't know where he is, what he's doing......nothing. I haven't heard his voice since Mother's day. He tried to call me and I missed the call because I was in another room and couldn't hear my phone ring. I thought I would bust in to tears then.

I really am trying not to be super emotional. I want to keep a good attitude. It's hard though. How am I supposed to know that he is ok? I keep telling myself that he is just really busy and can't get to a computer or phone. I keep thinking that nothing is wrong and nothing has happened. It isn't really that I think he may be hurt or anything. I'm just worried about other things. He's alone there. Yeah there are plenty of people around, but how many people of faith? What scares me is what may come against him right now. I know it has been difficult for me. I just pray for him every time I think about him. I ask God to protect him, encourage him and let him know I love him.

I have so many fears about the future. It is crazy. I shouldn't worry about the future. The Bible tells me so. I guess it is just easy to let doubt whisper to you and hard to not hear the whisper in your ear.

Please pray for us.

I'm Going to be in a Play!

Nervousness. I auditioned for a musical Tuesday night. I just wanted to see if I could do it, because the last time I even tried to "act" was when I was 12. Fourteen years later, I thought it was time to take another stab at it. I shouldn't have been so shy about it. Still not out of that weirdness that I get sometimes where I don't want to speak up. I talk myself out of too many things. The audition was fun. I could've done more, but with me having the crud and not having much experience behind my belt, I fell into the background. Still, I was cast as a chorus girl and a smaller role (I think Suzanne) in Kiss Me Kate. I'm excited about it. It'll be a nice thing to do with some of my friends. Still, I won't have any free time, but maybe I'll feel better about how I spend my time. I'm going to miss hanging out with my dad on Tuesdays though. I love him.

Speaking of which, I had to delay our "date" night because of the ladie's banquet. Now I'm going to have to postpone again because of rehearsel. I hope my dad isn't upset. I think I'll visit him tonight. I miss hearing him boss me around. hehe

Last night I stayed up until 1 working on a Congratulations banner for two people I go to church with. It was fun. That's what it looks like. I haven't just sat down and drawn anything in a while. I talked on the phone with Eli while I worked. I caught up on his life. Strange talking to him after everything. I'm afraid I still may have a tinge of bitterness in me. I've really prayed about it. I don't want to be mean to him. It's just hard to be nice to him sometimes when I remember everything that happened between us. I make mean little comments that I could just keep inside and not express. He just leaves the door wide open and I walk through it. It's like the movie You've Got Mail. I zing him and then I feel the overwhelming remorse for what I've done. I'm getting better about it though. Unlike the movie, we won't end up together. Far from what I would want anyway. I just want to learn to be a real friend to him again.

I miss Scott. I try not to think about it. Ever since he changed camps, I never get to hear from him. When I do get to talk to him it seems like such a short conversation. I miss his hugs, smell, touch.....man I miss him. I can't even remember what it feels like to hug him. I can't wait until he comes home. I think we have about a month and half left. It's just not going quickly enough. I don't know if I'm going to be very good at being a military wife. I'm going to try my best. Boy this isn't fun though.

Roof Top Teaching

As promised.....here is Bro. Lambert preaching his sermon from the roof of our church. He's so silly. I think it's great that he is willing to try anything to get people to come to church. This was a dare. He said he would preach on top of the church if they had 75 people, I think. Crazy stuff.

I'm just glad he didn't get too excited and fall off!

Sorry the pictures are kinda fuzzy.

Pentecostal Jumping Bean/Jumping Preacher

The preacher Biggie (Amanda) was referencing to in her comment on my last post was a preacher she had seen preaching revival at my home church one year while we were attending Northeast Community College. I had taken a group of people to a revival service with me, just so they could see what my church was like. People have so many, I'm not sure how to put it......they just make up in their mind how a pentecostal church will be because of what they may have heard. I always like for them to see if for themselves and make their own judgements based on their experience. I love visiting other churches so it is nothing to me to bring someone to visit mine. It's fun. I'll admit I'm not the most "by the book" Pentecostal, but I was born and raised that way.

The time that I did take Amanda and a few other friends to church with me was so much fun! Bro. Lambert, the jumping preacher, was in the middle of his sermon when the first thing he did that may seem unsual to some people was take off his shoes. Now I've seen this many times before. I mean, it isn't common or anything, but a preacher will do anything to get his point across. I think the thing that really did it for Amanda and everyone else was when he jumped up on the altar while he was preaching. I laughed inside because I knew they were probably thinking all kinds of things. I think Bro. Lambert puts it best when he says, "I'm feeling my Holy Ghost wheaties."

He's now the pastor of our church in Iuka. I love that church. There is a move of God there that is amazing. The pastor and his wife both have a heart for God that you would not believe. Plus, they are just silly. If we get 100 people at church, the pastor, the youth leader, and a couple more guys at our church are going to shave their heads. I'm rooting for 100!! I know it can happen. I'll be so funny!

Well, I was going to try to post a picture of Bro. Lambert on here, but the computer is giving me heck. I'll try again later. It's fun.

Sometimes I Just Don't Know

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I view people. It started the other day when I was driving back to my house for lunch. I had to pass by some workers on the side of the road. One guy waved me through the blocked area. He was wearing an orange jump suit. You know, the ones that people usually wear if they are working community hours for the police. I looked at his face as I drove by. I wondered what it would be like to meet him on the street. I started thinking about how I would act toward him if I had just bumped in to him. Would I be afraid? Would I be friendly? Would I even say, "Hi"? These thoughts began the chain reaction in my brain that usually sends me on a wild goose chase.

So many times people are quick to judge others just by what they see. I've made it point in my life to treat everyone the same. Sometimes I'm more successful at accomplishing this goal than others. I've failed many times. I keep trying though. One thing I've noticed about myself is that I honestly believe (and this is the naive part of me that my father says will quickly fade away once reality hits) that everyone has good in them. I believe that first moment of introductions, hellos, glances is the opportunity for them to be completely free of judgments, stereotypes or anything. I start off meeting people thinking that they are truly saints, then I let them decide what they will be to me. I base how I feel about them on how they act, speak, react, express themselves to me. After those first few moments I catch on to what kind of person they will be. Still, I hold out hope that the good will overcome anything and will be what I see from then on. I never think that they could hurt me, lie to me, deceive in any way, or be bad. I guess that is why, most times, when someone does something that is considered unorthodox to other people, I'm a little let down. I put my heart out there for people to play with and not in a romantic way but in a loving way. I've noticed that deep down, when I meet someone, I truly love their souls. They have to decide whether or not to let me.



I don't know........it was clearer in my head. Sometimes it is so hard for me to put in to words what I'm thinking. It can be crystal clear inside and from my brain to my fingers the translation gets lost. I tried.