Peculiar

Today is going pretty well. I've gotten to work on some Ads for school and still have a little fun. Yesterday when I came in to work there was a present on my desk.

This little guy.

It made me laugh. I don't know who left it, but it made me feel good and I appreciate their kindness. Just wish I could return it! I also got a nifty little wrist rest. Cool stuff.

So I'm trying to actually work like I'm supposed to. It's so hard to concentrate lately. I'm a mess. I really am. Too much stuff going on in my brain and heart.

I gotta get off the serious notes......I'm planning a trip to Nashville Easter weekend!! My friend Carrie and I may be hitting the highway and getting out of Dodge! I hope so. I need to runaway for a while (again). The last time I took a trip was two weekends ago. I visited my brother for St. Patrick's Day. I always love getting to visit him. And I do mean that! He means a lot to me.

Sorry, not full of inquisitive thoughts or silly things today really, just living.

More Pictures:

It's just one of those days!

A Few Pictures for You

Ok, so these are just a few random pictures. The flowers I got at Valentine's Day. The pictures of Scott were sent to me by him from over there. Man I miss him. Then there are a couple I probably already had on my blog, but it never hurts to post more. Right? Anyway, enjoy.

Luck be a Computer Today!

Wow, I'm really getting excited about being able to put something on here. Awesome!

Anyway, things are moving along. Not getting anything done really. I've just been working and hanging out. I really should try to locate a photographer, tent, caterer and florist. I've been putting it off, because I'm a freak stupid woman!

Today I got some pictures printed of Scott that I didn't have. They turned out great! I was completely stoked! Here is one. He's so cute. I could just pinch those cheeks! Okay, sorry I have my moments of pure cheeziness. I can't help it. I haven't had the opportunity to express my......well, whatever you want to call it.....pent up googliness.

I'm ready for ol' Scotty boy to come home and get this thing moving. It gets old waiting. Plus, work is becoming work. Not fun.

I'm getting more comfortable with the people at work though. That's cool. I'm actually getting to talk, laugh and cut-up with some of them. I miss having that. It's good to get it back. I'm still keeping to myself a bit, just to keep it safe. You know. People gossip.

Hrmm.....I guess that's it. I can't really think of anything right now.

It's a Miracle!!

I almost fell outta my seat when I realized that my computer was going to let me post. Usually it says that this website is obscene and tasteless, and it blocks it immediately. Not today! Yippee!

I've missed posting here. I don't have a way, except for the public library to get to an internet hook-up that allows posting. I never get to go by the library.

This past weekend was rough. My best friend's dad passed away. I wasn't sure what to think. He was hilarious. He made me giggle a lot and was so sweet. He could really make you think he was a tough cookie too. I'll miss him a lot.

I could probably say a thousand things more about it, but I don't think I will. Not yet.

Life lately has been strange. I've been waiting. Waiting for Scott to come home, waiting to move, waiting for something in my spiritual life to happen, waiting for my physical image to change, waiting for many things and waiting for nothing. It's craziness. I think too much lately. I can't focus on my exercise, because when I do exercise my mind drifts to everything and frustrates me. It's hard to explain everything.

Scott will be coming home in June sometime. I'm not sure when. I think he knows the exact date, but he wants to surprise me. Sweet.

Have you ever known and felt deeply that your greater purpose was so close but you just couldn't figure out what it was? It's like it is right in front of you, but you just can't see it? You ache inside because you know you are supposed to being doing something.........something......what is it????? I feel like I'm stuck. It's not necessarily a bad thing, just confusing.

Please pray for me.

Long Time Without Posting, Many More in Sight

Sorry it has been a while since I've posted. I've got no sources! My computer at work blocks the blogs, but for some reason I can still read them. I just can't post to any of them. The yesterday it started blocking my yahoo mail account! There's no hope! I'm doomed to utilize the library's resources!

Things are moving along.....slowly. Even though every day gets me a day closer to Scott coming home and us getting married, it still seems as though everything just creeps on by. There are 245 days left until the wedding. I'm not counting, Scott is. haha! I've managaed to get my dress, the church and reception area booked, my passport (sent for), and...that's about it. Yeah, I'm not moving along very well. I hate doing this stuff without Scott. As much as I love him, I don't like emailing all of the details of the wedding to him and sending pictures. I'd much rather have him here with me picking out everything. From what I've heard, though, he'd be doing the same thing he is doing now, just in person. "I don't care, Deresa. Whatever you think is best." He makes me smile.

Stress, stress, and more stress. My fingernails have stopped growing. My face is freaking out. I've never had so many breakouts!! (which I'm sure you guys wanna know this) My legs have started swelling. I look like a fat mamma-jamma with huge ankles! It's kinda freaking me out. Scott says, "Take a week off and don't think about the wedding." How is this possible? I would like to not think about it, but it floods my every thought. I'm worried that when he gets back I won't have everything done that needs to be done. I don't want it to be a flop. I don't want it to be a typical small-town wedding either, because in my head it's always been something more than that. I also don't want to spend thousands of dollars for one day. ACK! It probably would be a lot easier to just elope. Scott doesn't want to. I tried talking him in to it. haha!

Anyway, gotta jet. I'll post again when I get to. You may thank Elizabeth O. for this wonderful opportunity. She's letting me use her computer.

Much love to all!

Settling

Sorry, I know it's been a while since I've posted. Time has gotten the best of me. I'm living in Corinth now. I have a two bedroom apartment that is big enough for me. I like it. It's lonely, but I'll get used to it. I'm working for the School District doing graphic design work. It's fun. I've been trying to get used to being back in north MS. It's hard to adjust. I think about Gulfport all the time (when I'm not thinking about Scott).

Right now I'm living my life day-to-day. I don't know what's ahead. The work I'm doing for the School District may work out to be a full-time position. I'm just worried, I guess. I know I shouldn't worry, but I do. I know that if everything works out when Scott comes back I am going to move to Colorado. I know that the people at work have been very kind to me. I don't want to mislead them. I haven't mentioned that I'll be leaving in August. I don't know if I should. I want to be honest with them so they won't feel that I've disrespected them by leaving. Some people say that I'm not being disrespectful by not telling them. I've been told that it's normal to up and leave later and not to worry about it. We'll see. I'm playing it by ear. I've just been praying about it and I told God what I thought about everything (how I don't want to hurt anyone). It's up to Him to work out the details.

I'm overwhelmed. I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but I'm engaged! I got that way at Thanksgiving. So, not only am I stressing over work and money, I'm freaking out about planning a wedding by myself. Scott won't get to help me, really help me, until August. So I've got to do the planning with him by phone and via the internet. Not cool. This is something I want to do right, and I want it to be beautiful. I just hope I can pull it off. The "date" is October 7 (God willing and the Creek don't rise).

Well, everyone is leaving work. I'm glad I finally got to post. I'll try to do better. I just haven't felt like sharing much lately. Much love guys!

Back on the Coast for the Week

I've returned. I had to make myself drive down to the coast today. I procrastinated as long as I could. I wanted to cry. I DON'T want to be here. Scott came home for the weeked. He had a death in the family. I stayed around him for the time and soaked it all in. I took him back to the airport yesterday. I felt like I was breaking into a thousand pieces. It was overwhelming. We are both miserable as far as the situation goes with us being apart. I miss him tons and it isn't long until he leaves for 6 months.

I have to be here for the week. My mom says, "When you get so fed up with it that you can't take it and you're ready to come home, come home. I'm tired of you being there. I don't like the situation you are in." I love my mom for saying that, and I know she would support me, but if I quit my job... what's next?

I keep asking, "What's God's will for my life?" I'm blown away. I have no clue. I keep praying and asking for guidance. "I need help God!!" Help will come. I know it will.

Check For Me

My update is at http://xanga.com/freepuppy this day. Thank you for your support. Shop with us again soon.

Optimism is Hoping for Unemployment

I know, I really shouldn't be that way. I'm terrible. Actually I'm not as bad as you think. Things in my life have been turned completely upside down.

STATUS

Currently I am living no where. I've been staying with friends here on the Coast. I'm sad to say, I'm running out of friends! It's not that I'm running out of friends, I'm just running out of places to stay that I haven't already stayed. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I have a blow-up mattress in my truck and occasionally I bring it out and blow it up so I can sleep on someone's floor. I've been frequenting couches, and if I score a guest bed I'm stoked! My home was covered with mold and mildew and they closed the apartments on campus because of the damage. So I'm homeless but looking for a place to live. The pickings are slim. Everyone has rented the apartments that were available. People are renting out rooms or guesthomes, but there are a lot of creepy people down here. I'm running out of options.

I still work for the college. I'm recruiting. Kinda odd. I basically am going to schools and telling people, "Come to * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *! We're still here!" What I don't tell them is that our campus has been destroyed and we are working out of buildings that don't belong to us. It's a sad day. I feel very foolish telling people to come to a school that is in bad shape. I loved our campus I wish terribly they would decide to clean it up and rebuild. It doesn't look good for that campus. There are promises that we will rebuild, but not there. Sad.

What I'm hoping for is an opportunity to move back home. I want to find a job closer to home and start living up there. The problem is that I have to find a place to work and live. It's the latter that doesn't worry me. I just can't find another job.

Please pray for me. Love ya's!

I'm in Colorado Springs, Colorado!!

If you'd like to catch up with me, check out http://xanga.com/freepuppy. That's where you'll find my update. Thank you and goodnight.

Here It Is

Well, I'm in Brandon, MS still. I just checked out footage of the storm. Not good. I don't know what lies in store for me now. I don't know when I can go home, I don't know if I will still have a job, I don't know what is left of everything. It's depressing.

It will be ok. Right? Check out http://www.wlbt.com for footage. That's my home, or at least what is left of it. I'm a little scared.

Running from the Storm

Well, I'm here in Brandon, MS hiding from the hurricane. I fear I didn't run far enough. We'll find out tomorrow I guess. I didn't realize that it was going to be as bad as they are predicting. I wish I had packed more things that were close to me. I forgot my journals, pictures, artwork. Oh well. Hope everything is ok and makes it through the storm. I'm really worried about all those people who decided to stick it out. I pray they will be safe. Craziness!

Me, JoJo and Joe (my brother) are going to stick it out here and see how it goes.

I'm not moving to Colorado. Scott is going overseas to the Middle East sometime in December. It has changed everything for us. We are going to see this through and pray for the best. I know that it will be very hard for me to take advantage of seeing him. I will treasure every moment I get to be around him and see him. I miss him bunches. I can't imagine how it is going to be in a few months. I'm scared. It'll be ok though. God will give us strength.

Wow, Stress...Relief....Stress Again

I fear that I will be a psychotic weirdo before the end comes. All of this "trying to decide whether or not to go" stuff is really doing a job on me. I don't know where I'll be headed in two weeks, but God willing, I'll be going where I'm supposed to be going. Geezum, this stuff is crazy.

I miss this face soooo much. Yeah, I'm feeling boyfriend sick. I miss him tons. I wish there was a miracle in the making. We did find out that Scott did not get the position at Keesler. We are back at square one. What's next?

Decisions to be made. I really wanna just pack my bags and head to Colorado, but after much prayer and deliberation, it looks like that won't be what I will be doing. We are still discussing options. I know we do have to keep our heads on straight about everything. I've just found a great church to get involved with and work isn't too horrendous. Things could be worse for me. I really need to finish my Master's degree. I want to save money. It would be easier for me to stay here.

Scott is looking into other positions on the Coast (there aren't really that many near here) and trying to figure out his next move. I want him to be happy. If that means that he doesn't re-enlist and that he moves here, so be it. I just want him to be smart about everything. I guess part of me has selfish reasons for wanting him to stay in. I know that he gets great benefits with the military. Retirement, I've heard, is not bad at all. I like the idea of that. Of course, there's always the opportunity to travel with the military. There are the downsides too, and for those reasons I know it is more important for him to do what will make him happy. I don't want him to worry about deployment. That's a big deal. I don't want him to hate his job. I try not to tell him my opinion too much about what he should do because I don't want to be an influence. I know I already am somewhat of an influence, otherwise he wouldn't want to be moving here to be closer. I mean, come on. I feel bad enough about that. I dunno. It's all confusing.

What I do know: I love and appreciate Scott very much. Whatever happens, we'll make it through it and we'll still be the couple we are. No matter what kind of job he has, he's my man. Money isn't everything. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend.

So there, we'll get through this, right?

Aside from that, work is crazy. No one is here today. It's me and about three other people. I hate phones. They ring. GRRRRRRRRR! It doesn't help that people on the other end of the phone pause every two seconds to say, "Uhm." It tries my patience. I'm so not a desk person.

Yadda Yadda Yadda

I think I can Yadda Yadda Yadda this. It's a typical day at school. Finished a lot of paperwork and now I'm goofing off. I'm planning on working on my portfolio today. I forgot my laptop so I'll have to get that at lunch, if not sooner.

Gotta go, be back.

A Post!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can You Believe it!!??!!

Finally, for all you post seekers. Here it is....just for you. You know what???? Check out my xanga for this one. I can't type right now. Sorry!! http://xanga.com/freepuppy Laters!

Good Things are Happening in the Hundred Acre Woods

It's good. I just finished a conversation with a student and awesome chick that I helped get admitted into the college. She recently got married and is pregnant. Things are going well for her. She's happy and has just decided to drop out of nursing school. I don't blame her. I've seen the students that are in the program. They are completely stressed out. She's got her head on straight. I'm proud of her.

Scott is coming today!!!!! I'm picking him up in New Orleans. Sooooooo excited!! We'll be heading off for Iuka Friday afternoon. I'm planning on hanging out with Valerie Sat. morning and Carrie Sat. night. Sunday we are going to go to church and then to his family's cookout. Yum. I'm so nervous. I hope that I don't do anything stupid and make everyone hate me. I want them to like me. I'm needy!! hehe Okay maybe not that bad, but I do want to make a good impression.

My dad is thinking about coming down to the coast for the fourth. I won't be here, but more power to him!

So today, I'm caught up on my work. I'm supposed to pick Scott up in New Orleans at 6. Gotta leave work early. I'm going to try to work through lunch so I can leave early. I think I may read a little.

I feel very mundane. Not exciting. Bland. Blah. I want to be brilliant!!! (in every sense of the word).

I'm So Bad

I got a new puppy. Her name is Anastasia. She's part beagle, part something else....not sure what. She's cute! I'll put a picture on here as soon as I can. Joe, my chihuahua, is unsure of the situation. He sniffed her all day yesterday and loved on her. Last night she cuddled up to him while he slept. He growled a little and moved. Then this morning he's marking everything!! I seperated them while I'm at work. I didn't wanna leave them, but I had to. So, we'll see how this goes. I'm excited and scared. I've never trained an inside puppy before.

Eight more days until Scott gets to come visit. I can't wait to see him. I'm looking forward to meeting his family at the cookout. I'm hoping he'll get to meet some of mine and we'll hang out with our friends too. I miss seeing Carrie.

The family reunion was cool. I got to see cousins I haven't seen in a long time. I realized that I don't want to fit in with all of my family. God love them. Some of them are too far gone. I love them all. I hope the best for them all. I wish that some of them could see life from a different perspective.

Back in the Swing of Things

Well, I've made it back to MS without any problems. I've been working, not too hard, this week to get things done. Orientation is aproaching, and I'm getting nervous. I'll deal with it.

Scott and I are counting down the days until he gets to move here. We are both SO excited. I think we both are to the point where we are ready to throw the telephones across the room and never talk on them. The only thing that keeps us from doing this is the fact that we won't be able to speak to each other after the mishap. So, we are being patient and enduring the phone calls.

My family reunion is this weekend. I'm debating about whether or not I'm going to attend. It's a 6 hour drive home and then I only have Fri., Sat., and Sun. for the weekend. I would have to come back Sun. and leave right after work Fri. I dunno what I'll do.

Hope all of you people are well! I know this wasn't a very exciting post. Maybe I'll think of something better soon. Later!

Colorado...I've Made It!

Yep, I'm here and loving it. I got off to a rocky start trying to get here. My flight got delayed, delayed, delayed, until I had to get another flight the very next morning. No worries. It made for a very pleasant trip. Scott picked me up at the airport. He had gotten stuck in traffic, so I was a little afraid he was either still asleep or I missed him. hehe, It got straightened out.

GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scott found out that his package to get moved to Gulfport for the MTL position is on his desk, waiting for him!! In other words.....SCOTT IS GOING TO BE MY NEIGHBOR!! It isn't "official" yet, but he's pretty much guaranteed for the position. I'm sooooo freakin excited! Come Sept. (fingers and toes are crossed) he will be living in Gulfport, MS! How completely awesome is that!! I screamed when he told me. Really, I did.

Well, I'm waiting for him to get back from a meeting so we can hang out and do whatever. Peace out homeys.